Tuesday, 30 September 2014

Lush Gift...

Yesterday I got sent such an amazing gift from the lovely Kath and Rob who you all know as I mention them often! Here is Kath's blog incase you don't know who I'm talking about. It was such a lovely surprise and this just shows how well they know me :). 

It came in the loveliest box and the box is called "Wonderful You" and it came with so many things! A lot of them I haven't tried either and I'm really looking forward to trying them too! A lot of them seem to be really moisturising which if you know me is something I'm always looking for.

Working from the top down we have:- 

Flying Fox || Honey-rich shower gel with essential oils 

9 to 5 || Almond oil and dove orchid cleansing milk

Dream Cream || A gentle cream for upset skin with oat milk, rose water and charmomile blue oil to calm things down. 

Ro's Argan Body Conditioner || Smells like roses and is loaded with fragrant oils and butters

Honey Trap || Lip Balm for extra dry lips 

Gorgeous sample || moisturiser made with freshly juiced fruits and organic oils

Godiva || Made with nut oils and butters and leaves a lovely jasmine sent

Aqua Mirablis || Nutty body butter that scrubs and polishes skin

Sultana of Soap || An oasis for parched skin

Tender is The Night || A bit like King of Skin

I'm really looking forward to trying the Sultana soap the most it smells amazing and I can't wait to see what it feels like. The 9 to 5 smells gorgeous as well and that looks like it is going to be a particular fave. Basically I'm looking forward to it all. I cannot thank Kath and Rob enough they are way, way too generous! 
Hope you are well
As always, thank-you for reading guys and chat soon 

Sunday, 28 September 2014

A million thank-yous...

Original picture source || Edited by me
This is probably going to be all over the place but I just know I have to write it. 
Thursday was intense for so many reasons my 1st and 2nd false alarm were no where near as emotional or intense as that was on Thursday. All I can think about is what the donor family must be going through right now, what Hazel's family must be going through and what the 3 other families who were called that morning must be going through too. 

I know me and my family WILL get through this because that's what we do and I have the MOST AMAZING support system behind me, but do they? 

On Thursday I experienced something I have never experienced ever! I felt so unbelievably loved. The love and support pouring out from people was insane and although I couldn't see it all I could feel it and my sister was telling me the messages you guys were leaving me, and a bunch of you were texting me. Although I was extremely anxious when we thought it was going to go ahead I could just feel everyone willing me on to do well and to just get through this bit and then I would be on the road to my amazing future. I don't completely know how to explain it to you. When I got home that day I could see messages from people I don't even know on twitter and private messaging me on Facebook who had obviously seen what was happening through mutual friends and I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that people I don't know wanted me to do well and were willing me on too. I'm probably being the most inarticulate person in the world right now... 

I wrote a status that night as I got home just really apologising to every one for putting them through that day because it was a long day for me and I was there getting all the information so I couldn't imagine what it would have been like for everyone else waiting anxiously for any minute detail of information from my sister. I honestly don't like having to put people through that.

I don't know how to thank everyone for all the love, strength and support they gave me on Thursday besides doing this blogpost. This is like my massive hug to you all. 

My family were amazing on Thursday, Megan and Mum kept me distracted from what we all thought was about to happen. Candice being a wonderful messenger ;-). Then Kath, Bernice and Gina for all the support throughout the day especially at the 11th hour Bernice and Kath's great advice definitely kept me calm. Then EVERYONE for the love and support I could feel throughout the whole day and got to fully appreciate when I could read all your lovely messages. 

This journey sometimes feels like a lonely one but whenever I feel like that I just have to remember all of you who get me through this in the dark and lonely times and I know that I could never be alone, not with all of you behind me willing me on always. I know you could have given up on me long ago but the fact that you are all still here with me, means so very much and the only way I can say thank-you to guys is like this, and I know that is never going to be enough but for right now that is all that I can do. So I hope you all know that I appreciate and love you all for your continued love and support throughout all of this and I will never take it for granted, ever, I promise! 


As always, thank-you for reading guys and chat soon 

Friday, 26 September 2014

3rd time certainly wasn't the charm...

So guys I'm going to get right down to it. Yesterday at 8:53am I had my transplant call. I was informed that it would be quite a long day as it was still pretty early days but they just wanted to get me in to be ready. They had also called 4 other pre-transplant patients as back-ups for the organs incase one wasn't good enough for me. It just so happened that I knew the back-up for the double lung procedure as we are fellow PH patients and transplant patients and have known each other for a few years now and so that is where the story begins. 

I had all my specific people I needed to ring I rang my sister first because she had to go pick my mum up from work and bless her she didn't even get dressed out of her pyjamas don't worry though guys when she got to my house she borrowed one of my dresses. I called my mum at work and she basically just said by I'm going LOL. Next up was my older sister Candice who is the mediator between me and my Facebook as she has to stay home with her kids and then my Dad. Next I rang Bernice who was hard to get hold of because she was actually at clinic so being the smart old noggin I am I rang the clinic where a rather rude woman answered the phone who didn't seem to want to let me speak to her until I promised I would be on the phone for 1 minute. Then finally was Kath and Gina and we all seemed to get very excited. I think it was about 20-25minutes between me answering the initial phone call to being on our way. I think I forgot a lot of stuff, my toothbrush, one of my pumps and other silly little things. I think we just expected all calls to be in the nighttime so we just weren't prepared for a daytime call. 

It was a long drive about 2 and half hours which actually isn't that bad for getting to Papworth and I was quite excited for this one because it felt "different" compared to all the other ones.  When I got there I immediately got put on Mallard ward in a nice room with no other patients and I got to see Bernice pretty much straight away. We were both very excited as we thought "Finally!" I got to meet her granddad who I mistakenly thought was her dad thats a good thing though LOL. I then got to see the Co-ordinators who were dealing with the transplant that day they told me that I was the priority and that the transplant was mine all being good with the heart and lungs but just so I knew they had called in 4 other people as back-ups just in case to which I told them I knew that already as I knew one of the other patients which I think they found unusual. 

Honestly it was just a lot of waiting because there were a lot of delays with the donor hospital and they were waiting for operating theatres to let up and all that kind of thing. After getting ready and pepped talked into what was going to happen in the anaesthetic room at which point anxiety was building because I don't like arterial bloods done let alone an arterial line but lucky for me I text Kath and Bernice and they both told me they hadn't remembered that part so that calmed me down a bit. This was at about 8:05pm. At about 8:45 the transplant co-ordinator came in with a shake of the head and said "I'm so sorry it's not going to happen" I honestly felt my heart drop! I shouted and cried which I think was the anxiety leaving my body to be honest but I was just SO angry and then she proceeded to tell us that the heart had coronary artery disease that wasn't visible in the all the other tests they had done throughout the day. She apologised profusely because the kind of wait time we had isn't normal and was definitely unforeseen. I had to wait a further hour and half for transport to get home but had definitely calmed down a bit by then.

The lungs that were still okay went to Hazel my fellow Pher and transplant awaitee unfortunately we found out from Hazel's husband that Hazel died this morning from uncontrollable blood loss. A very sad ending to a horrific 24 hours it is definitely going to take a long while to recover from this one :( 

I did take some pictures throughout the day and thought you might like to see them...

Excited ambulance journey going to Papworth
Me and my bestie Bernice
Bored Peggy and I 
Another me and Megan bored one
Waiting to go home
As always, thank-you for reading guys and chat soon