Thursday, 26 February 2015


Did you know that back in the day and by "the day" I mean the 90's, Heart and Lung transplants were in fact the norm? No probably not unless of course you have gone through the process of being assessed for a heart and double lung transplant, it is something they feel the need to tell you and continue to tell you every pre-transplant clinic you see them at like it's new information they're giving you and not something they've told you every 3 months for the past 3 years. I politely nod though although my responses to the information have definitely gotten shorter in that time. The reason though? Well back in the 90's double lung transplants weren't as easy as they are nowadays, easy is probably the wrong word, the success rate for double lungs transplants was not great is what I'm trying to say. So if someone needed a double lung transplant they would more than likely do a heart and lung transplant because essentially it is an easier transplant to perform and sometimes they even did domino transplants where the person waiting for lungs would still have a a good heart and there was no point in it going to waste so they would be able to transplant their perfectly good heart to someone waiting for a heart transplant. Amazing right?! However fewer deaths actually are occurring nowadays and that has a lot to do with things like seat belts, increased health awareness and just generally double lung transplants becoming common practise. They would much rather save 2 people than 1 which I understand to an extent.  

Nowadays we are very few and far between. If they can avoid you needing a heart and lung transplant they definitely will because they know how hard it is to get them nowadays. That is why they tried to find a way around the various heart issues I have. No luck though. 

Why am I rambling on about all this though? I'm just feeling a bit alone at the moment that's all. Very few people that I know of can really get it. I made a lot of friends when I was initially put on the list, quite a few whom I would call some of my closest friends the thing though is several have tragically died or gone on to get their transplants. I remember having conversations with people when I was about 6 months into the list I remember saying that I thought I was either going to not have to wait very long at all or have to wait a very long time, at the time I considered 2 years to be a ridiculously long time which it is but that's how long I naively thought I was going to have to wait if I had to wait "a long time." I look back on 21 year old me and feel sorry for her because she was so full of hope that it would happen quickly I mean why would it take 11 months to get on the list an not happen quickly right?! Unfortunately something I have always known is that I am not a lucky person, I may have just about used up all my luck in that I haven't done this waiting thing in complete agony 24/7 there's probably only so much luck somebody can get right?!

I don't seek out or actively speak to people who have been put on the list anymore, some do find me and I do talk to them and love talking to them and I definitely wouldn't be rude and ignore them but I have to prepare myself for the emotional blow I will inevitably receive when they get their transplant before I do whether they've been waiting a week, a month or a year it's what happens that's why most of my transplant friends are either post transplant or have been waiting quite sometime themselves. 

Probably not a good thing for me to do but I asked on one of my transplant groups this evening whether people knew of anyone waiting for both heart and lungs or whether they knew of any happening lately because I like to torture myself that way and morbid curiosity always wins out. Apparently so far between April 2014/2015 there has been ONE Heart and Lung transplant, that is just ridiculous especially when you think in 13/14 there were eight! Maybe they are over compensating by actively not doing them? I don't know because eight is a lot, or not a lot but a lot when you think previous years there was 3 then 5 then 3, eight is definitely way above the norm. If you have a morbid curiosity about these things like I do here's the link to the NHSBT statistic Pdf that tells you all you want to know about transplants since 2010. 

If you ever wanted to see a Unicorn find someone who's had a heart and Lung transplant in the past 15 years, that's probably as close as you're going to get! 

As always, thank-you for reading guys and chat soon

Sunday, 22 February 2015

The normal bits...

I feel like lately all I've been doing is informing you of the exciting goings on and while that is you know... exciting I haven't been telling you the boring stuff. Well not boring just normal stuff, a meal with the family doesn't seem to quite compare to being on TV and being a part of a campaign does it? 

The past few days I feel like I've been non-stop. IT was my sisters Birthday on Friday, she turned 26 which is mental she's on the wrong side of her 20's now but that scares me because Me and Meg turn 26 next year and we aren't even 25 yet. Does that scare anyone else? Any way I brought Candy a glass vase which I put some Bath bombs from Lush in because she wanted a vase for her Bathroom and bath bombs not for her bath but to make it smell nice, if you could see me I'm rolling my eyes LOL. The boys opened all her presents for her, bless them, because they obviously think all presents are theirs too, we then went to Lunch in a local pub which was nice. 

Later that evening I went to dinner with Gina and Pegster. I managed to go 1 hour and 30 minutes without my oxygen which I'm so proud of myself for. My chest hurt but it was worth it. I think I timed it just right, so I didn't wear it during Dinner and then when we left to go to the Cinema I put it on and I seemed to get the balance just right I think. We went to see "50 shades of Grey," I have never read the books, shock horror, and nor will I be after seeing the movie. I just don't think that type of movie is aimed at someone like me. It was awkward interaction throughout the movie between both the leads, I couldn't stop staring at the fact the guy, Christian? had one eye bigger than the other, it really annoyed me LOL and the woman and her friend were clearly way to old for the parts they were playing. Every-time the guy and the girl interacted it was just awkward, really awkward! I just found it creepy as well, it felt like a parent and child. Then there was one line where they are "sorting out the contract" and the entire cinema just bust into laughter. I'm not sure that's what they were going for. Then when it finished I could just hear the sighs of relief when it was over. Yeah, I definitely wouldn't recommend that movie to anyone. It was a good laugh though for me, meg and gina lol. 

Friday was also the day that I have been waiting 34months on the list. I'm not going to go into massive detail because when I think about it it just annoys me and I start to get mad about it so best just to say "Yes I've been deserted on the list for 34months now, unlikely to change in the near future so why bother getting upset about it?" So I'm just going to silently brood about it and complain to Papworth on the 13th lol.  

Saturday I basically slept. That up there ^^^ may not seem like a lot but when I got up at 8am and didn't get in till 11:30pm it took it's toll so sleeping was my friend. I got my oxygen masks through as well which I'm so excited about. Currently my nose is suffering because of my oxygen. I usually wear nasal cannulars, which I really do prefer but sometimes my nose just needs a bit of a break. I'm having about a minimum of 4 nosebleeds a day at the moment and it's definitely from the battering my nose is getting from my oxygen. The masks should just take the pressure off and give my nose time to heal a little. I got up at 4pm though and went to dinner with my Mum. Candice, Warren and the nephews which was Chinese! Yummy! I do enjoy a good Chinese!

I also have given up Chocolate for lent, which I think is crazy! It's not for any religious reasons just to see if I can do it :). Today is Day 5 it's not too hard I just forget sometimes. Yesterday I may have accidentally had 2 mouthfuls of a Ripple McFlurry (I know classy!) before I realised what I was doing, it really doesn't count though because it was 95% ice-cream so I'm not counting it! I would join the people doing the Dechox for the British heart foundation which is basically people giving up chocolate through March but I won't do it because people would need to sponsor you and 1. I'm pretty sure no-one would sponsor me and 2. Even if people did I wouldn't want to disappoint them because I'm not sure I'm going to last till Easter but at least with lent I'm only disappointing myself LOL. 

Today is my sisters Baby Shower as she is due to pop in the very near future and her friend Sam suggested we do it because this baby will be Candy's last. I'll be doing an entirely separate blogpost on that though so you have that to look forward to :) Have a good day my lovelies!

As always, thank-you for reading guys and chat soon

Thursday, 19 February 2015

Pretty presents....

You know that present I got? Well I want to share a few of the bits that were in with you guys. I'm not going to share all of the stuff because otherwise that would make for a very long post. Also be aware that this is more of a haul and I have yet to actually use these products but I have chosen some of the ones that I am most excited to use. I am very excited! 

OPI Nail Laquer || Brazil collection || Where Did Suzi's Man-go? || AmazON...AmazOFF || Kiss Me I'm Brazilian || Next Stop... The Bikini Zone 
I am very excited for these they are all colours I would use because I use any and all colour when it comes to Nail varnish, I'm not fussy. I am especially looking forward to the AmazON...AmazOFF because that is just the most beautiful deep green and I just love it! 

Ciaté Corrupted Nail Manicure 
This I actually just thought were just normal nail varnishes even though their box was super cool. What they do is you paint the colour on as you would normally and then you prickle the neon glitter on it while it is wet and if you're in a neon room or you know a dark room type thing they become neon and light up. I'm really excited to try these out! 

URBAN DECAY || b6 Vitamin infused complexion prep spray || all nighter Make-up setting spray|| Supercurl Curling Mascara 
I have heard amazing things about urban decay prep and setting sprays and am really looking forward to trying them to see if they actually do what they are meant to. I'm not a massive fan of powder so I'm really looking forward to seeing if the setting spray actually works. The mascara is also a really cute mini which will definitely be going in my handbag make-up bag :) 

URBAN DECAY || 24/7 Glide on pencil || Deep end || Scorch 
These I already know I'm absolutely going to love!! I drew them on my hand and the colours are beautiful and they felt really lovely as well. The colours though are really bright and vibrant and I cannot wait to use them!! especially the blue how amazing will that look?!

URBAN DECAY EYESHADOWS || Glitter Rock || Cosmic || Diamond Dog || Zodiac
So the shadow in the top left hand side is just referred to as a "neutral" so I have no idea what that is called but all these shades are really lovely shimmery shades. I actually really only own a tonne of matte colours because I like to stick to safe colours but I'm really looking forward to using these and seeing how they turn out because they are so, so beautiful. 

NARS || Deep Throat
I cannot tell you how excited I am for this one because I have wanted this blusher for so long! But you know when you just can't justify buying something but now I finally have it!!! It's such a beautiful colour it has a slight shimmer to it which is just gorgeous! 

NAKED || Streak
This is beautiful coral peach colour which I think is perfect for spring coming up and I'm likely to wearing this a lot through March to September I didn't even know Naked did lip glosses!

ESTEE LAUDER || Mod Poppy Shimmer
I would say this is more of a Stacie colour and is pretty berry tonne which has a really gorgeous shimmer to it and will most likely get a lot of wear on the days when I feel like my face needs a bit of brightening up :) 
As always, thank-you for reading guys and chat soon